What does successful co-parenting after divorce look like?
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is where parents share the duty of raising a child. Where the parents are separated, co-parenting usually allows both parents to have an active role in the life of their children and as a result, the children are typically able to have a more consistent upbringing.
Sometimes if separations are unpleasant it can be hard to effectively co-parent. Co-parenting includes having open communication with the other parent and making sure that the children’s best interests are met and that the children are at the forefront of decision making.
Co-parenting involves being a team and requires a number of skills to ensure that the children are supported and are ultimately happy.
In some cases, co-parenting may not be achievable, but if you find that co-parenting is a good option for your situation, then it is important to get it right.
Tips to practice effective co-parenting
Effective co-parenting after divorce is likely to be difficult due to the potential conflict and negative feelings toward the other parent, especially where the relationship has ended badly.
Here are a few tips to help with effective co-parenting:
- Be clear on your expectations: For co-parenting to be successful, it is a good idea to start off by being totally honest about each person’s expectations and how exactly the children should be brought up. This may include deciding what time they should go to bed, what they can/cannot do generally, what they should eat, etc. This allows each parent to be on the same page and gives the children consistency.
- Stick to a good routine: When you have decided when the children should spend time with each parent, it is good to stick to this routine so that the children have stability and know what to expect. This will likely help the children with getting used to a new way of life which will support their overall well-being.
- Keep communication open: It is important to keep the other parent involved in decisions and matters related to the children to encourage communication and a good co-parenting relationship. You want to be able to trust that the other parent is sticking to what you have agreed is in the best interests of the children. Being open and honest and keeping the communication civil and constructive will help build a good co-parenting relationship and will ultimately give you peace of mind.
- Be flexible: It is important to be flexible when it comes to the children. If for instance, the other parent wants to plan a family party or take the children on holiday when it is your agreed time with the children, it is good to think about the children’s perspectives and what is in their best interests rather than yours. If you are flexible, it will also be more likely that your ex will be flexible when you have something arranged.
Parenting plan
A
parenting plan is a plan clarifying arrangements for children which is worked out between separated parents as an alternative to going to court. The plan usually helps to outline what is expected of each parent and the general practicalities of the arrangement. It is a good option for those who would like to structure their arrangements and ensure that both parents are on the same page.
Summary
Effective co-parenting is subjective and it is important that you find a routine and structure that is suitable. There are tips that can be suggested to successfully co-parent, but ultimately, it’s best to find what works for your family.
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