What is the best custody schedule for a child with autism?

Custody arrangements can be challenging, especially when considering the unique needs of a child with autism. In the UK, it's estimated that one in every 100 children has autism, with boys being diagnosed at a rate four times higher than girls. 

Given the increasing diagnosis rates and the significant number of undetected cases, it's crucial to create a custody schedule that caters to the specific needs of these children. Here are some strategies and considerations for developing the best custody schedule for a child with autism. It is worth noting that “child arrangements” is the current term for “custody”. 

During custody negotiations, maintaining a sense of normalcy for your child is vital. If possible, both parents should live in the same house. If this isn't feasible, daily contact with the child is essential to provide stability and reassurance. Joint custody is often the best option, as it ensures the child remains in contact with both parents, providing a balanced structure for the family.

Bird-nesting can be an effective child arrangement, especially if the child requires significant support from both parents. In this setup, the child stays in one home while the parents rotate living there based on their custody schedule. This provides maximum continuity and minimises disruption to the child's routine. Another variation is having both parents stay in the same home but in different parts, ensuring the child remains in a familiar environment.

Bird-nesting can serve as a temporary arrangement while transitioning to joint custody or a permanent solution, though it may become complicated if new partners are introduced. Clear boundaries and conditions should be established, especially regarding daily expenses and housing costs. It's important to explain the arrangement to the child in a way they can understand to avoid confusion.

Why is it important to maintain normality for a child with autism?

1. Routine 

Children with autism often thrive on routine and predictability. Changes in their environment or daily schedule can be distressing and lead to increased anxiety and behavioural issues. By maintaining some kind of normalcy, parents can help provide a stable and predictable environment, which is crucial for the child's emotional and psychological well-being.

2. Reducing anxiety

Disruptions in routine can significantly increase anxiety levels in children with autism. Keeping things as normal as possible helps to minimise the stress and anxiety that can accompany changes such as parental separation and custody arrangements. A familiar routine provides comfort and a sense of security.

3. Consistency 

Children with autism often rely on a network of support, including therapists, teachers, and healthcare providers. Maintaining normality ensures that these critical support systems remain consistent, allowing the child to continue receiving the care and interventions they need without interruption. 

4. Emotional security

Children with autism may have difficulty understanding and processing complex emotional situations, such as parental separation. Maintaining a familiar and stable environment helps provide emotional security, making it easier for the child to cope with the changes in their family dynamics.

5. Communication

A stable environment facilitates better communication between the child and their parents or caregivers. When the child feels secure, they are more likely to engage and communicate effectively, which is crucial for their emotional and social development.

Additional tips for navigating child arrangements with an autistic child

Keep the child informed with simple updates about the situation without overwhelming them with details. Focus on their daily activities, such as school, friends, and therapy, to keep their routine as stable as possible. Informing their therapist, doctor, teacher, and support staff about the separation is crucial for consistent support and understanding.

For teenagers, consider their rights and wishes during the separation process, as negotiators and judges may take their preferences into account. When discussing child support, ensure that provisions for the child's therapy and other needs are included in the plan.

Children with autism often struggle with changes to their routines, making transitions between homes challenging. To ease this process, consider creating an extended custody schedule. For example, if sharing 50/50 custody, switch every week rather than every night.

Providing a calendar with the custody schedule can help the child understand and anticipate the changes, allowing them to process their emotions. Regular reminders about the number of days left with each parent can also be helpful.

The best custody schedule for a child with autism prioritises stability, routine, and open communication. Whether through joint custody, bird-nesting, or carefully planned visitation, the goal is to minimise disruptions and provide consistent support.

How Can GloverPriest Help?

At GloverPriest, we provide friendly and transparent family law advice. If you would like further help on child arrangements, please don’t hesitate to speak to one of our expert family lawyers today. Complete our enquiry form.